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September 2nd, 2010 | Tags: author, back to school, books, bus, Children, email, facebook, family, list, lunch, misconceptions, mom blog, mom entertainment, mom news, moms, parenting, School, summer | Category: Alyssa's Camp, For Moms | I’ve seen this list a few times on Facebook and then it came across my email. Not sure who the author is but I will gladly give the credit where it is due. I just thought it was hysterical!
10 Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School
Author is unknown
Misconception Number 1: Moms miss their kids when they go back to school
Seriously, I’ve had enough of you by now. Every morning with the “what are we going to do today, Mom?” is finally over. I’ve had looked at your face twenty-four seven for the last 77 days. It’s time to go learn something. No more asking me about the pool, when is the next snack or if you can stay up late and watch a movie. It’s over. You’re going back to Hogwarts and I get to have a life again. There is a Christmas morning for parents and it’s called “back to school”.
Misconception Number 2: Moms like to go school shopping.
Are you freaking kidding me? Why do I pay taxes? So I can rack up a 200 dollar bill at Staples for crap that we have laying around my house in junk drawers. Why does it have to be new pencils? What’s wrong with the chewed up, broken strawberry shortcake pencils sitting in the bottom of the toy box for the last 6 months? And how many subject books can you possibly need? What happened to reading, writing and arithmetic. If they added a couple of things for parents to that list I wouldn’t mind so much..why not pencils, erasers and vodka …or some Nyquil.
Misconception Number 3: Moms like back to school night.
Why must we do this every year? I got it already. You’re the teacher. I’m the parent. My kid is either going to be smart or dumb. If he gets a certain number or colored dot on his discipline chart, he can’t get a prize from the prize box. Pretty simple stuff. Listen, I’m pretty old school. If he doesn’t listen to you, you can throw something at him. I don’t care. But I got a lot of work to do at home and I’m paying a babysitter right now. Plus, I’m pretty sure you are going to assign some project on wigwams made by some Indian tribe I’ve never heard of, so I need to get home and start my research. So, I got it. We’re all here for the betterment of the kids. Blah Blah Blah. Can I leave now?
Misconception Number 4: Moms like school paperwork.
How many trees are you planning on killing to tell me the same stuff I had to pay a babysitter to listen to the other night? You know our name, where we live and our emergency phone numbers. He doesn’t have a nickname, call him “stinkbutt” for all I care. We don’t have any “special circumstances” that you need to know about. He lives in a home with two parents who may ormay not like each other at any given time and they will fight. If that qualifies as a reason he can’t get his homework done on time then he won’t be able to function as an adult and have a real job so you may want to “educate” him on that life lesson.
Misconception Number 5: Moms like covering books in that annoying sticky paper.
What exactly will you be doing with these books that I have to cover them in a plastic laminate? Do you often teach in the rain? Or while the children are drinking soda and eating soup? Do you know how long that takes? Has any parent in the history of education been able to do it without any air bubbles in it? From now on I’m covering it the old way in brown paper bags. That way I can cover the books and pack their lunches at that same time. Who says moms can’t multitask?
PS. Please tell my son if he can’t find his lunch to look in his science book.
Misconception Number 6: Moms like helping you with your homework.
What? I am scared out of my mind. I’m pretty sure that I forgot everything I learned in fifth grade by the time I was in sixth grade. I have no idea what you are talking about most days. I don’t really know my 12 times tables, I read the cliff notes to all your summer reading and I don’t know how to conjugate anything but I do know that song “conjuction junction what’s your function” if that helps at all. And please don’t even say the words “new math” to me. What the heck was wrong the old one?
Misconception Number 7: Moms can’t wait to pack your lunch every day until we die.
I hate doing laundry. Making dinner every night is the bane of my existence, so making your lunch every day for an entire year, in terms of “mom fun”, lies somewhere between brushing plaque off the dogs teeth and scheduling my annual pap smear. Listen, as a child I hated what my mom packed me for lunch. But, like every kid before me, and every generation to come you will find a kid to trade with. I’m sure someone likes sardines.
Misconception Number 8: Moms love after school activities.
I don’t know who made up this idea of organized clubs and sports but they should be the ones in charge of carting your ass around. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against all after school programs, I just wish they would offer it during hours that would work best for me so that dinner wasn’t at 8:30 at night followed by 4 hours of homework. Why not do it on the weekends and call it “after-hours activities” so mommy and daddy could actually go out one night and pretend that we have a life of our own. Don’t worry about us though I’m sure that me and “what’s his name” will be married a very long time.
Misconception Number 9: Moms don’t mind taking you to school if you miss the bus
Your bus comes at 7:10 am, which means that you should be standing by the door at 7:05 am, not eating breakfast , chasing the dog around the house or in the bathroom, asking me to check your homework while I’m taking a shower.
Get it together! I don’t like running down the street in my jammies at 7:12 screaming “Please wait” or “If you stop I’ll show you my boobies.”
Misconception Number 10 : Moms cry on your first day of school
We do cry but they are tears of joy. I have done my job. I have successfully kept a human child alive for at least 5 years without doing any major damage. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world!! Sure, doctors save lives and CEO’s run million dollar businesses but, you teach a kid not to poop their pants and then you can say you’ve made the world a better place.”
I had just taken a little hike and I decided to go do a few sets of stairs in our neighborhood. There is a total of 163 so it’s a pretty darn good workout. I was all gung ho to get it done when low and behold, there on the side of the trail was about an 8 foot rattle snake that was thicker than a water bottle.
If you think a 42 year old mother can’t outrun a snake like that, you’d better think twice. After my heart skipped a few beats, I was outta there. Much to big for my liking so I decided to put the stairs off until tomorrow!
August 30th, 2010 | Tags: airsoft, camo, family, fun, helmut, house, Kids, leaves, mom, mom entertainment, mom news, war | Category: Alyssa's Camp, Family Platoon | Our family goes all out when it comes to certain things. Airsoft wars are one of them. Check out who I found lurking around the side of the house yesterday complete with camo paint on his face and leaves on his helmut. My own son, ready to attack mom and take me out in the first 5 minutes! No worries, we do wear protective headgear, I just had to capture this photo!
August 26th, 2010 | Tags: coaches, competitive, Kids, mom blog, mom entertainment, mom news, parents, Sports, USA Today, youth | Category: Alyssa's Camp, Articles, Sports | Being a mom of four kids that enjoy playing sports, I found a survey that was in the USA Today to be quite interesting.
Nearly 80% of adults say youth sports today can be too competitive…who is the primary culprit?
78% the parents
14% the coaches
6% the kids
3% others
Chill out parents and let the kids enjoy the game!
The day had been going just fine when the kids decided to have a lemonade stand on a hot Saturday afternoon. They set up their stand often with the kids across the street so they can earn money to buy parts for a go kart they want to build. So, they knew the routine, get the big cooler to fill with lemonade, fill their money box with some change and get the folding table in the garage.
When they reached for the folding table, they were greeted by a rattlesnake coiled up in the folded legs. They ran into the house screaming for help. My mom was inside but wasn’t about to take on this job, and my husband and I were out at the sporting goods store with my son. Immediately the kids ran across the street to get another dad. He came over and verified that yes indeed it was a rattlesnake. At the same time. we arrived home to all this commotion in the garage. Now the two dads are on the job and this snake is rattling at them. Unfortunately the snake met his match and was removed from the garage. I think about how many times all the kids, and myself, had most likely walked by this snake in the garage and it just makes my cringe how close it was.
Thank goodness the rattlesnake wranglers were around to take care of it and keep the garage and all the kids safe.
August 25th, 2010 | Tags: civil war, civil war days, family, fort tejon, huntington beach, infantry, Kids, mom blog, mom entertainment, mom news, second regiment, son, southern california, vermont, volunteers | Category: Activities, Alyssa's Camp, Family Platoon | As I’ve mentioned before in some of my posts, one of sons is just amazed with the Civil War. From reading to watching TV shows on it, he can’t get enough of it. We even bring him to local civil war re-enactments from time to time. The last event he went to was at Ft. Tejon. It was there that he wore his entire Union uniform and began talking to some folks who were there participating in the event. To make a long story short, he is now, along with our entire family, a proud member of the Second Regiment Vermont Volunteer Infantry of Southern California.
He is excited for the Labor Day weekend to arrive as he will be participating in his first event, Civil War Days, in Huntington Beach. If you are in the area, I urge you to check it out. It’s actually a great history lesson for the kids to attend events like these.
Here he is all dressed up with some of the members of his new company, out practicing some drills. We all know the expression, “happier than a pig in shit,” well this little soldier is over the moon!
August 24th, 2010 | Tags: bedroom, camping, dad, family, Kids, mom, mom blog, mom entertainment, mom news | Category: Activities, Alyssa's Camp, Family Platoon | As a kid, there’s nothing better than camping out in your mom and dad’s bedroom. My kids have been doing it since they were little and still, every now and again, they ask to go camping. It’s fun to do on the weekend or when dad is traveling but as they have gotten older, they fight about who is going to sleep in the king size bed if dad is away. My response to the arguing is that I tell them to just figure it out. They certainly have gotten creative because the new solution they’ve discovered…if you don’t get to sleep with mom…just drag in your mattress!
August 19th, 2010 | Tags: amazon.com, Articles, Children, contest, family, film critic, fun, headlines, Kids, Kids First, kidsfirst.org, mom blog, mom entertainment, mom news, movies, red carpet, Starz Kids Channel, The Velveteen Rabbit, wonderworldtv.com | Category: Alyssa's Camp, Entertainment | This note came across my email and it looked fun so I wanted to share it with our readers!
SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO – Kids who love movies and love to talk about them are being offered the chance of a lifetime! KIDS FIRST! has launched a three-month-long nationwide search for five kids to become official KIDS FIRST! Film Critics. The five lucky winners – who will each serve a twelve-month term as an official KIDS FIRST! Film Critic – will be sent to Red Carpet events and advance film screenings where they will review new family films, interview celebrities, and blog about upcoming films. Additionally, those who enter could have the chance to win a $10,000 college scholarship courtesy of Stepping Stones Entertainment, which will be awarded to the film critic who writes the best review of The Velveteen Rabbit.
“We are very excited about this first-ever Film Critics’ Campaign, which ties in directly to KIDS FIRST!’s mission. From the very beginning, we have had kids participating as jurors in our endorsement program but this campaign really takes it to a new level – giving a select group of kids the opportunity to become mini film critic celebrities. And, for one lucky kid, a $10,000 scholarship!,” said Ranny Levy, President and Founder of KIDS FIRST!
The overall focus of the program is to teach children healthy media habits, as well as strong critical thinking, writing and public speaking skills that will stay with them for a lifetime. The KIDS FIRST! Film Critics Search runs through October 20th and is open to children between the ages of six and 15. To enter, applicants must submit both a written and videotaped review of one or more of the seven official KIDS FIRST! Film Critics’ Search titles: Tom and Jerry Meet Sherlock Holmes, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Furry Vengeance, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, The Secret of Moonacre, Jumping for Joy, and The Velveteen Rabbit, which are available for purchase at Toys“R”Us stores, Amazon.com, SteppingStones.com, and most places where DVDs are sold. The Velveteen Rabbit can also be viewed on the Starz Kids & Family Channel.
The top 20 finalists will be determined by public voting of the contestants’ videotaped reviews at WonderWorldTV.com, the KIDS FIRST! partner site. A panel of celebrity judges will choose the five winners.
The Search will culminate the weekend of November 12th-14th, during the first ever KIDS FIRST! Film Critics’ Weekend, when the winners will be announced. Families all over America are invited to actively participate by helping to set a world’s record of one million kids “viewing and reviewing” the same film on the same weekend together with a caring adult.
The film, The Velveteen Rabbit from Stepping Stones Entertainment, has been chosen for this record-breaking event. Families are encouraged to view and review this film together and engage in conversation about it, with the goal of becoming active, rather than passive, viewers.
To participate in the KIDS FIRST! Film Critics’ Weekend, families can attend local screenings hosted by film societies and community centers, view the film on Starz Kids & Family Channel, purchase the DVD online at SteppingStones.com or at their local retailers. A listing of local screenings can be found on the KIDS FIRST! website along with discussion guides for all of the search titles.
Industry supporters of The KIDS FIRST! Film Critics Campaign include Amazon.com, Anchor Bay Entertainment, Entertainment One, Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, Starz Kids & Family Channel, Stepping Stones Entertainment, Summit Entertainment, Toys“R”Us, Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, Warner Home Video, and WonderWorld Entertainment. Stepping Stone Entertainment is donating a percentage of the sales of the The Velveteen Rabbit Director’s Cut DVD to KIDS FIRST!.
Campaign support also comes from national nonprofit organizations that include the National Education Association, REEL Fathers, National Association of Elementary School Principals and the National Council of Women’s Organizations, with a cumulative membership of over 17 million.
For more information about the KIDS FIRST! Film Critics campaign, visit:
www.kidsfirst.org.
August 18th, 2010 | Tags: citywalk, family, flight, fun, hollywood, ifly, indoor skydiving, Kids, LA, mom blog, mom entertainment, mom news, summer, universal studios | Category: Activities, Alyssa's Camp, Entertainment, Family Platoon | One of the coolest things we did this summer was to check out a place called IFly (www.iflyhollywood.com) at Universal Studios Hollywood’s Citywalk.
The kids participated in a training session, got all suited up complete with helmuts and goggles and then entered the indoor wind tunnel with their instructor where they were able to experience the sensation of flight. It was so cool to watch them smile from ear to ear when the instructor let them go and they were flying on their own. An awesome experience for all ages. I can’t wait to go back again and try it for myself!
We were in the airport one day when my son discovered something that intrigued him. I turned to him when he called my name and I saw this…
He thought this “pay phone” thing was really funny. He questioned why they even existed since today “everyone has a cell phone!” When I told him that when I was his age, cell phones didn’t exist. A few years later, the first ones that came to the market had to be carried around in this little suitcase type of bag because they were so bulky. The kids got quite a kick out of these stories and couldn’t imagine a cell phone only being being used for an actual call and not to text or surf the net and all the other things they do. In my kids eyes, I grew up in the dark ages…then they had the nerve to ask me if I had electricity when I was a kid! My goodness, I’m only 42, you’d think I was a cave women!
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