Could He Have a Learning Issue?

My oldest son is in the 5th grade, and for the past two years, my husband and I have seen his academic development slowly slide.  First, he seemed to go from a top reader, to an average reader.  Then, his printing became illegible.  Now we are seeing that his writing is barely improving.  When we look at his standardized test scores, a similar thing has been happening.  In our initial discussions with the teachers, they seemed to suggest that he needed to read more.  We also had his eyes tested and he was fitted with glasses, but things just weren’t improving.

My husband and I debated on the issue, and we were both on the opposite ends of the spectrum.  My husband kept saying, “He’s a lazy kid.  He’s just like I was at that age.  There’s not much we can do.” Meanwhile, I kept thinking that my parenting was at fault.  Maybe I’m not motivating him properly.  Maybe I over correct him too much, so now he’s just so afraid to fail he doesn’t try.  I was beating myself up.

As our son started 5th grade, his teacher requested that all the parents allow the kids to be totally independent in their school work so that she could accurately assess how they are each doing, both academically and organizationally.  I took her request to heart and stayed completely out of my son’s school work, but I had serious doubts about his ability to succeed with so much independence. When his first report card came to the house it validated my concerns.  He had all B’s and C’s, and the comments by the teachers suggested that he had a desire to do well, but just wasn’t performing.

At the parent/teacher conference, my husband and I were joined by both his teachers and the principle of the school.  They reflected on his test scores and asked us questions about how our son works at home.  We all agreed that his progress in reading, comprehension, spelling and writing was stagnating.  He was progressing in other areas, and despite his low grades, was excelling in math, science, and music.  However were advised that we should have our son tested to get an assessment of our his learning style and to see if there might be a bigger issue.

That is where we are as of writing this post.  We have the name of an educational specialist who can give us a well rounded and full assessment of our son, and we will hopefully discover more about him than we ever knew. Just knowing that we are starting to move in this direction makes me feel a whole lot better, but more importantly, the principle told us, “Once we figure out what’s going on with your son and we can better manage it, HE will feel like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders.  If we’ve noticed that he’s been struggling, you can bet that he’s aware of it, too.  And don’t worry.  We’ll solve this.”

I know our son isn’t the worst case out there when it comes to learning issues, but this is giving me such a greater appreciation for both the families who struggle with these types of issues all the time and also for the world of  education as a whole.  Too often my husband and I take for granted that we know my kid, but are not experts.  We never had to write a thesis before making our kidlets.  There was no gatekeeper checking our educational background before allowing his sperm to enter my eggs.  We are amateurs at this stuff.  But our advantage is that we have the greatest motivation of anyone to find the solutions, so that is what we must do.