I Have to Collect Urine From the Dog, Really?

Yesterday afternoon the vet called me to let me know that she needed an early morning urine sample from my beagle to complete her “senior panel.”  I responded with, “Are you kidding me?”  A stool sample, that’s easy to collect, but urine?

I posted my predicament on Facebook and my wonderful friends gave me some advice to complete my task.

  • A baggie and a ponytail holder.
  • Follow him around the yard with a Tupperware bowl and then catch the pee when he lifts!
  • Old disposable pie pan, when they squat push it under them, lol.
  • Why can’t the vet do it?
  • Video please?!?!?
  • My doxie never looked @ me the same after.
  • It’s called yellow snow up here. Wait, you don’t get snow.  And my favorite
  • Stand behind the couch and then jump out really fast and scare the piss out of him!

Thanks to everyone for the advice but I THOUGHT I came up with the best one.  Since my husband gets up first and Harley always gets up with him to take a pee and get a biscuit, I figured why not just leave a little bowl out with a note for him to get the sample.  Ingenious on my part, I thought.

As my husband was leaving for work he tells me (with a chuckle), “Oh, by the way, Harley is still in bed with you, she didn’t get up with me this morning, you’ll have to get the sample.”

Totally deflated, I got up, put my slippers on and went downstairs with the dogs.  I apologize that there’s no video, I know you were all looking forward to that but, the kids were all in the shower at the time.  Outside I went, following her with the bowl while I dodged piles of poop so my new Ugg slippers didn’t get messy (at this point I was cursing the kids for not scooping poop).  Every time she started to squat I quickly tried to slip the bowl under but she turned her heard, stood up and looked at me as if to say, “what the hell are you doing?” This went on about 10 times before I was able to get a few drips in the bowl.

When I dropped the sample off at the vet, the woman at the front counter said to me, “This is all you could get?  I’ll call you and let you know if we need more.”

It’s been 2 hours since I dropped it off so I think I’m in the clear!

Leave it to Mom to make it happen!




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